Holiday Cheer

Our First Christmas Portrait

So the Christmas weekend has come and gone. C and I celebrated it in our own little way by taking a whale watching tour (yes I realize those are dolphins) in Monterey on Christmas Eve and hiking at Mt. Tamalpais on Jesus Day. (The hike was not really all that gloomy and spooky. Chris just liked the way that pic came out.) I thought about going to church; mostly because I really like all those carols. It's the one day out of the year when I lean a little bit more toward my Christian roots, rather than the much more natural Buddhist ones. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that, just about every time I go to church, I end up with this uncomfortable feeling like I just don't belong. Everyone there seems so comforted and happy, and I'm just sort of on the outside looking in.

It seems fitting to go to church on Christmas, and I have many times, really I have. But the thing is, I usually end up with this inexplicable longing and sense of "Man, I really wish I could buy into all this." Because it does seem so comforting and happy. And Christians write such great songs and have such nice cathedrals. And those stained glass windows, they are sooo cool. But I guess the kicker is that it's pretty much exclusively for Christians - Christianity that is; that Rejoice! Rejoice! Our King is born today! sort of excitement. I've tried to get in on that shiznit for so long without actually buying into it that I think it was sort of a relief to give up and just go for a nice hike in the woods.

Mostly though, I've just been doing a lot of grieving over the earthquake, the tsunamis, and the aftermath of what's going on in Asia. I can't turn on the news or pick up a newspaper without breaking down in tears. But as far as I know, all of my family in Phuket is fine. And as far as I know, all of my sister-in-law's family in Madras is fine. That's some small consolation in all of this devastation and horror.

Quote of the Week

"The least you can do is give me the
same respect that I gave you when
I slept with your boyfriend while you
two were still going out."

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Release date - July 16, 2005

Two words: Boo. Yah.

All This Talk of Babies

Well, little Sofia Phoenix entered the world a wee bit early, but healthy as can be on Saturday, December 18th. She and mamma D are home and happily getting to know one another. And while I've dubbed myself Honorary Aunt to baby Sofia, in just one more month there will be the addition of a bouncing baby boy to the Bhuket brood, who will be inextricably bound to me by blood (the poor thing.) Anyway, all this talk of babies and baby mammas has gotten me a little sentimental and a little weepy I must admit. Silly little confession time: When I was in Thailand for my mom's funeral this song popped into my head in a dream and played on auto-feedback for several weeks, which did nothing to help the crippling grief I was already feeling. Unfortunately, it's also probably the best lullaby ever written, regardless of the fact that it's a Disney song. So I wanted to sort of give it back. Maybe as a gift. Sort of like an air-filled balloon that's been sitting in my lap for too long. I want to tap it back up into the air and let it land somewhere a little happier next time. Like in the nurseries of my new niece and nephew. So here it is. You can sing along if you know it.

Baby Mine - from Dumbo

Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part, baby of mine

Little one when you play
Don't you mind what you say
Let those eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine

If they knew sweet little you
They'd end up loving you too
All those same people who scold you
What they'd give just for the right to hold you

From your head to your toes
You're not much, goodness knows
But you're so precious to me
Cute as can be, baby of mine

Christmas Comes Again Now Sing We a Glad Noel

My three weeks of non-stop slavery are finally drawing to a close. Come Friday I will have (count 'em) 9 days off. In a row, my friends. I am so freaking psyched I'm not sure what to do with myself. Yeah, yeah applications will probably take up a significant portion of that time, but dude, I can like do those in my underwear if I want. I could even be watching a movie and snacking on Christmas cookies at the same time. That is like totally not a big deal-y-o.

This holiday season has been really different for some reason. I'm all about the holiday spirit and such, but I'm totally over the whole commercial, max out your credit cards to show people you love them, the city looks like it barfed red and green all over itself, isn't it sad for you that you aren't going home for Christmas sort of bull-honkey that I used to get all worked up over. This year I'm all about the tree in my living room that doesn't have a single ornament, but it's just rockin' the Casbah anyway. And I'm all about just appreciating the awesomeness of my family and friends that are scattered all over this big old ball of a planet right now. And being squeal-like-a-little-girl excited about the two beautiful babies that are about to enter this crazy shiznit of a world, but at least they're getting started off right with some amazing human beings for parents. And I'm totally all about the gorge-o-rific chocolate and cookie perks that you get working in an office setting. Oh yeah, and the vanilla cupcake with coconut shavings that I downed last week at Greens. And, seriously, I'm out of my mind excited about having the best human being on the planet as my best friend, playmate and husband. And the rabbit we found in our backyard on Saturday, that was pretty cool too. And Cheeze-Its. I LOVE Cheez-Its. And penguins. And sunny days that are chilly. I guess that's it: I'm just all about being grateful and full of wonder and awe about life as I am getting to know it, and notice it.

Oh yeah! And you, dear reader! I'm so stoked that you actually come here from time to time and listen to what I have to say. What good is a soapbox if no one's listening? I know I'm not always that witty or funny, sometimes I'm a little too sappy, and I don't even post as often as I could. And hell, some of you probably just read this because I don't call enough for you to know what's going on with me. And secretly you're just pissed that I won't just pick up the damn phone and give you a holla! But for whatever reason, time and again you decide to click back here just to check in and maybe leave a shout out. I am totally grateful for that, dear reader. Warm and fuzzy inside, shit-eating grin on my face, I'd like to give you a cupcake from Magnolia Bakery kind of grateful. So happy holidays and all that. Love, Bodhi.

Burnout

I've been woefully negligent in my bloggerly duties of late. Maybe it's because I'm completely exhausted and overworked. As in working 3 jobs for 18 days straight. As in 15 hours straight on Saturday. As in, there's something funky going on with my hip that I think is my body's way of telling me it's going to go on strike if I don't slow down.

Still, I've managed to maintain my holiday spirit and keep the season bright. Bryan and I have been lighting the menorah and saying the Chanukah bruchas and Chris and I got our first Christmas tree ever thanks to the tip I got from catering until 1am on Saturday. Now there will be much stringing of popcorn and cranberries in the desperate attempt to decorate our little tannenbaum for a little less than dirt cheap. Still, the drive out to Half Moon Bay to pick and saw down our own tree in a giant field of Christmas trees in an achingly beautiful yuletide-y valley was just what we needed to kick-start the season.

I've also been working hard on putting together Chris's 30th birthday gift, but I shall say no more on the subject lest he read this post before next Tuesday.

Perhaps this flurry of activity has been a means of avoiding the anxiety over the anticipation of my LSAT results, which should return in about 3 weeks. Perhaps it's an elaborate exercise in procrastinating the drudgery of my law school applications. Speaking of which, I'm off to email my recommenders, whom I am counting on to write me such stellar letters that I will be accepted into the schools of my choice on the basis of my reputation alone. (Note to self: Be sure to write devastatingly witty and charming letters to recommenders to be accompanied by cookies and gifts...and maybe a wad of cash.)

To Do

Jury duty. Check.
Nurse kitty back to health. Check.
Recover $1,000 that was stolen from bank account. Check.
Study ass off for LSAT. Check.
Pick meaningless fight with husband as outlet for stress. Check.
Take husband to zoo to atone for schizoid breakdown. Check.
Eat pound of chocolate to blunt effects of PMS. Check.

All in all I'd say it's been a very productive (if stress-filled) week.

Tonight: Finding Neverland to keep my mind off the big test.
Tomorrow post-exam: Half Moon Bay to chop down a Christmas Tree.
Sunday: Some cold chillin' with Bruno and drinks with new girlfriends.
Sometime next week: Find a new bank.